My Life is Lame

1. On my first hour of Christmas I woke up at 5am to go to work.

2. On my second hour of Christmas, (Which is actually 10 hours) I went to work waiting tables.

3. On my Third hour of Christmas, I opened up a gift my parents had sent me.  It was a bar of soap made especially for back acne. Woof.

4. On my fourth hour of Christmas, like an old elderly woman, you know the kind that makes a big pot of stew in hopes that her children come over but then they never do, I made a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup.

5. On my fifth hour of Christmas, I then ate, the entire pot of chicken noodle soup.

6. On my sixth hour of Christmas I opened another gift from my parents.  This one was a book.  The story involved the narrator, with the help of the Christmas spirit, trying to figure out what was missing from Christmas.  The last page read: “And that’s when I got it.  That’s when I knew! The thing that was missing from Christmas was you!”

7. On my seventh hour of Christmas, I spent the hour feeling guilty for not being home for Christmas. Mission accomplished Mom. 

8. On my eighth hour of Christmas, I drank a bottle of wine my Aunt gave me.  It was good until…

9. On my ninth hour of Christmas, I got sick. 

10. On my tenth hour of Christmas, I opened up another gift from my parents.  Tooth Paste.  I then used it. 

11. On my eleventh hour of Christmas, I listened to a Hispanic family yell at each other in the street. This made me really miss home. 

12. And on the twelfth hour of Christmas, I passed out…at 9 p.m….and woke up 13 hours later. 

Merry Christmas Everyone.  Thanks for reading. 

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