My Life is Lame

“I Totally did that Girl…Twice”

I really do enjoy working out. It’s a nice time to clear my head. Solve problems like world hunger, homelessness, and what I should eat for dinner (Usually some chinese food, a gallon of sweet tea and a Mcflurry), which I guess just solves my hunger problems.

Anyways, while I’ve been working out, I’ve noticed some very distinct types of people at the gym.

The Bros: You know, the two guys lifting really heavy weights while talking about that hot chick from the bar last weekend “that I totally did…twice…while her friend watched.”

The Asian Business Guy: This guy is always talking business on his cell phone, while working out. Although one time, while showering at the gym, the guy in the stall next to me was talking in the shower, either to himself or on his bluetooth, either of which are not ok.

The Dumb College Girl: This is how she works out. She’s on the treadmill, walking, hair up, talking on her cell phone.

“Hey.”

“Nothing, I’m at the gym.”

“She’s a total, total bitch, you know.”

“That noise is the treadmill.”

“Please. My butt is sooooo big.”

“I come here like 3, 4 times a week.”

“We totally hooked up this weekend.”

“I just can’t do yoga, it’s like, weird.”

The Old Rich Woman Paying for a Personal Trainer: She’s the old lady who hasn’t lifted a finger in her life, and now has the urge to work out, and wants a young hot guy to tell her how to do it. Unfortunately young hot guy can’t do anything from keeping her arms from jiggling, and she just complains the whole time about how heavy 5lbs is.

The Scary Buff Guy: You know this guy. The one that’s muscles are bigger than TOs ego and walks around the gym looking like he wants to murder someone. The guy you actively try to now make eye contact with because you don’t want to be made into the part where you put your feet on the leg press.

The Guy who Acts Like he’s Having Sex while Lifting: For some strange reason this guy doesn’t know the difference between lifting weights and having sex.

“Ohhhhhh yeaaaa.”

“UGHHHHHHHH!”

“ONE MOOOOOOORE.”

I fall into none of these categories, unless you create an awkward skinny guy, who can’t seem to put on muscle, but tries day in and day out anyways. Then that’d be me.