I’m not trying to strike an organ key, but I don’t get catholics.
I was raised southern baptist. You know, the we can still be trashy and get into heaven view on Christianity.
Recently I had to cover a story for my new job in St. Patrick’s Cathedral during an evening mass. Gee was I lost.
First of all, there were men wearing dresses. Dresses. There was a green dress, a white dress and a red dress. I’m not sure if they were in uniform or Italian.
Also, the whole service was so structured. They even had a special time for nodding at each other. And it was like a competition to see who could nod at the most people. I saw one guy nod at ten people in 5 seconds. It was like watching someone have a seizure.
On top of the nodding, everyone kept standing up and down. It was like musical pews. In my church we stretch out. Get comfortable. Bring a book. A coloring book.
Plus, they took up offering five times. Five times. No wonder most catholics are broke immigrants, all their money is going to the church.
Honestly, I just like the way baptist do things. As long as the door is closed you’re solid. Wanna drink? Close the door. Wanna dance? Close the door. Wanna kill your liberal wife? Close the door. It’s a lot simpler.
Like I said, I’m not trying to start another war, I mean let’s be honest, I’m not even Jewish, but I just don’t get Catholics. I mean Mary doesn’t even seem that great, wasn’t she kind of slutty?