My Life is Lame

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Rolling in the Really Deep Ditch?

In case you haven’t realized, I’m kind of a pop culture nerd.  I check television ratings, visit box office mojo frequently, and check the top of the billboard charts every week. 

Usually around this time is when all the charts that show the best of everything from the previous year are released, and topping the music chart for 2011 is Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.” 

I’ll be honest, I think the song is pretty catchy. It’s got a pretty good beat. And It has that stuck in your head quality to it. 

BUT. I don’t exactly understand what it means, Rolling in the Deep that is. 

Did she fall into a ditch?  Dive into the deep end of a pool? Roll down a hill into a valley?

What confuses me even more is that before this she says, “We could have it all…Rolling in the deep.”

Could have had all the toys in the kiddy pool?  Could have had all the animals in this deep valley they are rolling in?  Could have had all of the birth control needed for their deep roll in the hay?  The possibilities are endless. 

Unfortunately the confusion doesn’t end there. “You had my heart inside your hand. And you played it to the beat.”

Whoa. Whoa. WHOA.  He was holding your heart?  He killed you?  Now Adele is dead?  What the F**K is going on? This song just took an awkward turn for the worse, just like when you walk into a pharmacy you’re not familiar with, stop to read a txt message and then realize you’ve been standing far too long in front of the tampons.

I know what you’re thinking.  He’s reading too much into this.  Clearly this song is about her being broken hearted.  It’s a song about the pain and suffering of a horrific break up.  It’s a song about past love.  Well kids, you’re wrong. 

This song is about a grisly murder, where some guy literally pulls out this chicks heart, and then rolls her into a really deep ditch, leaving her scared and breathless (As indicated by these lyrics “The scars of your love they leave me breathless.”)

So there you have it.  I just broke down Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” and now we all know just how sick this really talented lady is.  It’s Rolling in the really deep ditch dead.