Since moving to NYC several things have happened to me on the subway that are, well, just not normal.
1. Once the train started moving and I wasn’t ready, which resulted in me falling backwards onto passengers behind me.
2. While waiting for a train at 5 am in Union Square on a weekend, I got in a fight with someone about a sandwich I’d bought at Walgreens. Guy said it was his. It was not. I ate it to prove it.
3. Black guy said he was my uncle.
4. Accidentally grabbed a lady’s boob while trying to steady myself when a train took off.
5. Got kicked off a train because someone in my car puked.
6. A guy without legs held up a cup and asked for a leg up in life. A snickered. And then realized it wasn’t a joke.
7. I fell asleep while riding home from work. I woke up and my head was on the person next to me. He was not pleased.
8. While returning home late from work, I felt uncomfortable on the subway. So to stay safe I swayed back and forth and talked to myself. Within minutes everyone else was trying not to make eye contact with me. As Yoda would say, “Home safe I made.”