So it’s been a year since I graduated. A year. An entire year. That’s like, 365 days. Actually, that’s exactly 365 days. 12 months. A bunch of hours.
What have I done with my life since graduating college? Nothing worth writing home about.
All I did was move to NYC, get a full time job at a cable channel, and become financially stable.
I know what you’re thinking. What a failure. Where’s his kids? Why isn’t he married? How come he doesn’t own a car?
I know. My first year out of college has been a huge failure. But I’ve compiled a list of what I want to accomplish during my second year out of college to make up for this one.
1. Impregnate someone and name the child White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Johnson
2. Buy a trailer in a cozy trailer park
3. Adopt an Asian baby
4. Loose both the trailer and the Asian baby
5. Kill a squirrel with my bare hands
6. Buy a rifle
7. Kill a squirrel with the rifle and compare the differences
8. Get arrested for driving a four wheeler drunk
9. Start a 401 K
10. Lead a revolution to invade Canada
Guess I’ve got a long year ahead of me. Better go grab one of them adoption catalogs so I can pick out my baby.